you toss bricks at glass houses to watch them fall to the ground and the pieces lay useless like ears without sound, when something is broken it's not easily fixed and you'd call this the truth but your feelings are mixed because mendings your specialty you know all the tricks that make girls like me feel like we weren't just for kicks and you retrace your mistakes to find where you went wrong so you can replay the scene with a different song.
[31 Mar 2005|07:42pm]
GO TO THE ABBOTT HAYES SHOW FRIDAY (TOMORROW) or be dumb & loser.com and don't. im excited. <3 5789409. messages plz.
[24 Mar 2005|08:45pm]
go here and listen to the song so that FFL can play warped tour. k be awesome & do it. <3
[23 Mar 2005|07:21pm]
today: was funny. there was crrrazy traffic on the highway coming home from burlington. there were these guys who looked like they were like 20ish in an a4 just like mine except silver driving next to me and the passenger guy rolled down his window and was like saying something and so i rolled down my window & he goes "hey what's your name?" and i was like "uhhh rebecca..." and he goes "how old are you?" and i'm like "seventeen..." haha and then he and his friend kept looking at me and i got scared so i put my window up and then it was their exit-phew-haha. not like they were cute but yannnno. i got my cellie phone all fixed up! camera phone yay. i also didnt go to school because i threw up this morning. i went to sat prep @ mmu tho at 3 & they were just doing writing stuff so i left. i went into burlington to get my service put on my phone and then i met up with christoph & kate & cecelia at starbucks. they didn't stay too long...but yeah it was fun. i'm so proud of how prettie my lj looks. ps - if you leave me awesome text/voice message i will love you<3 802 578 9409. the end<3
[22 Mar 2005|08:29pm]
oh my live journal is beauuuutiful & virgin suicideslicious! <3 looove.
[21 Mar 2005|07:21pm]
"In the end it didn't matter how old they were, or even that they were girls. All that mattered was that we loved them, and they didn't hear our calls from in that room. For they were destined to be alone forever. In the end, we had pieces of the puzzle, but no matter how we put them together gaps remained--oddly shaped emptiness mapped by what surrounded them, like countries we couldn't name" - the virgin suicides
[20 Mar 2005|11:30am]
yay prom. im writing about it in my locked journal haha suckerrrrrrrrrrrs
[17 Mar 2005|09:37pm]
so prom is saturday. yay much? i'm actually pretty excited - mostly because the three best girls(jess, rachel, melissa) are going to be there to keep everyone dancing and lighthearted. they're more fun that you are, and by you i mean anyone who is not them, besides cali who is fun x 398724984 and i miss her! oh virgin island in april<3 anyway, if anyone caught the OC tonight - marissa & ryan back together? yay or nay? i'm going with yay but that's just because i recently saw the old new years episode again so i love marissa and ryan together. oh wow, i'm an idiot. -dies-. the endddd
[14 Mar 2005|10:35pm]
okay so obviously i lied. my life is up and down. whatever. </3
[13 Mar 2005|05:01pm]
life is making me smile again. and no you can't know why. it's a big secretttt :)
[07 Mar 2005|03:25pm]
today was one of the most trying days i've ever been through. the hardest part was facing the school alone. last night on the phone to chris i asked him, "are you coming to school tomorrow?" and he goes, "99% sure yeah" and i was like "okay good because i don't want to have to face the school alone.." and he was like "i would never leave you alone, you're not alone rebecca, i'm always here" yeah, well way for him to not show up then. so that hurt. i'm basically just proud of myself for getting through the day, even if i didn't make it to peru pe. my mom said she would take a walk with me when i came home and that sounded better. so after school i called chris because i had a bunch of his clothes to give back to him, and so i stopped by before he went to pe at bhs. he came out of his house and met me. and i handed him his shit and we just talked about stupid shit for a little, and we were just standing there in the cold and i started crying, because it's the hardest thing ive ever had to do. & so i said "well have a good day at bhs" and he was like "yah..." and then i was like "will you hug me one more time?" and he was like "okay but can we go behind my car? I don't want my mom to see because she told me that she'd hate to see me going back on what i've already decided." that probably hurt the most. who is he making decisions for? himself or his mom? so he hugged me and i just started crying because it felt the way it always does, but i know it's not safe any more and that hurts the most. i know he's not mine, and i can't call him mine. when he was driving away and we were both in our cars we rolled down the windows and i was like "any last words chris reed?" and he just goes "i love you, and drive safe." everything is so complicated right now. i hate it. but if there is one thing that i've learned about life, it's that it goes on, and who knows what will happen in the end.
[06 Mar 2005|08:26pm]
chris & i are taking a break. i don't even want to type it because it just makes it too real.
way to start off the vacation..um, hm. so yeah DRAMA, DRAMA. okay so let's start at the begining. so i was with chris, kate, cecelia, hannah and andrew in burlington when rachel calls me and is like "hey there is a party at bens we are in huntington but we need directions" so this is around 10 or so. So i give her directions and then at like 12 i call rachel's cell cause i am on my way back in to huntington & so i call her and ally picks up and she's like "hey, omg, dont go anywhere near bens house the cops came" and all this shit & im like "okay where are you?" and she is like "at the post office" becaues i guess that's where ben told everyone to park. so i meet up with her there are there are a bunch of people chilling in the parking lot waiting for their friends to get rides down from bens or whatever and so im like okay im gonna go help shuttle people down here & so i drive my car up to my house and park and then i get in with ally and we go up to bens and there are like 2 cop cars there and we go inside and there aren't very many people still there but im like 'okay does anyone need a ride?" etc and im also looking for rachel. so finally i find rachel, whit & danica and we all get in to allys car and im just like "you know what until you find sarah and amanda just come back to my house" and so everyone is at my house trying to find everyone else & then ally and rach are like "we're gonna go drive up the road and look for people" because a bunch of people darted out in to the woods. it is seriously record breaking low temp. tonight. SO COLD. so she brings a very frozen kacy, greg, and kirsten back to my house and they are all frost bitten & frozen and so everyone warms up and eventually they find amanda and sarah and everything is fine, but uhh, it was enough mmu drama for one night, that's all i can say. and...WHO CALLED THE COPS? because cops don't just show up in huntington... ps - im leaving comments open on this entry in case anyone wants to add something
i can't wait for this week to be over so i can spend my vacation with the people who make me smile. the end.
[07 Feb 2005|06:22pm]
i wish all the idiocracy that has been surrounding my lately would just stop please. today i have to admit i'm feeling quite lost. i don't really know all of who i am, and to be perfectly honest, in actuality i don't really know any of who i am. but i guess i have my entire life to figure all of this out. i have a headache and i stayed home from school sick today because i was horrible (sparing you the details) i'm just very drained, emotionally and physically at the moment. oh how sad. i'm going to stop complaining now. adios kiddos.
[06 Feb 2005|10:11pm]
the majority of today was spent with my best friend ever, ever, ever. whom i surely don't see enough of. it was also my brothers birthday party, so there were about 15 fourteen year olds running around & my brother hitting on his lady friends. pimpin. i miss my calisandra WHERE IS SHE? if someone finds her will you please mail her to my house? thanks. i'm also starting to realize that eventually clara and i are atleast going to have to be civil with one another because we are both working on the YIGT ( youth initiated grant team ) maybe next week she won't glare at me the entire meeting. really dear, it's such an unattractive look, it made my stomach a bit sick.
also: i am feeling a lot of nostalgia lately for the summer, like when it would be me & cali every night driving around in her saab, seeing how many honks we got or how many boy-filled cars would follow us (the jeep guys!) & singing at the top of our lungs. i miss not having to care about being home before midnight or anything else in the world. man, how many days are there left in the school year?
[06 Feb 2005|01:09am]
fun night spent with three of the best people around. highlight = cecelia's std joke. overall fun. i'm so tired, that is all! finnito